Volume 77

THE LOWE FAMILY NEWSLETTER : VOLUME 77

JULY 2012

Dear Readers,

On Saturday, June 2^nd I was awoken by a loud thud. I immediately checked to see if your dad was in the bed and saw that he was not. I suspected that he was probably the source of the noise and rightly so . I pried open the bathroom door to find him sitting in a sea of talcum powder which he liberally sprinkles into all his cracks and crevices. He sheepishly claimed that he had slipped on the powdery floor. I helped him to his feet and put him back in bed while I made breakfast. During breakfast he went into a seizure and once again hit the floor. Fortunately I was able to catch him in time to break it. I suggested that it might be a good idea to take it easy on the couch for awhile as it seemed he was having a bad day. Once he was safely sleeping (as I wrongly assumed) I headed to the deck with the newspaper and my coffee. Above the noise of the traffic and chirping birds I heard another thump so I dashed into the kitchen and found Norm on the floor in front of the trash can. I asked if he was hurt – as usual he assured me that he was fine, just needed to catch his breath. I asked why he had left the couch and he said he wanted to make some soup. I patiently explained that he no longer cooked – he claimed he'd forgotten. I tried to get him up with no luck. So I made him some chicken soup and gave him some pop as he said he felt like he had gas bubbles in his stomach. I was spoon feeding him the chicken soup as he sat on the floor and I opined that calling an ambulance was probably the only way we were going to get him up as he winced in pain every time I tried to move him. I suspected that he had broken his hip. He didn't believe that to be the case and said he wouldn't get in an ambulance if I called for one. I remembered the time years ago when we had to drive him to FMCH in our car following an empty ambulance. I called Josh and thankfully he answered his phone and came immediately. I suggested that we figure out a way to haul Norm to the ER just yards up the road. Josh was able to get him up with little help from me, place him in the wheelchair and get him down the front steps into the car.

Thank goodness I didn't have to call an ambulance when he fell earlier in the bathroom – I'm sure the paramedics would have called the drug squad out once they saw all the white powder coating the bathroom.

Once at the Overland Park Regional Medical Center ER I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't ask for our insurance for quite a while, taking a medical history first. It took over six hours to establish that he had broken his hip, would need to be admitted and have surgery the following morning.

Unfortunately his nine in the morning surgery was postponed until one in the afternoon. Thankfully his hip replacement surgery went well and he was able to enjoy a room to himself there for the first night. Due to complications he spent nine days in the hospital sharing his room with four other patients and their families. The Overland Park Regional Medical Center needs to invest less money in it's landscaping and public areas and more on the comfort of it's patients. The rooms were too small for two patients, their entourages and the medical staff who occasionally appeared to check on their patients. Worse when the medical staff did show up they all had cell phones which were constantly ringing and buzzing and had to be answered immediately – even when placing IV needles, catheters and running medical tests. Who ever thought of this system ( in the interests presumably of job efficiency) never considered the impact on their patients and families. At best you had someone focused on your needs for a minute or so.

Norm's first room mate was a Korean man who had the misfortune to fall from a tree he was trimming with a chain saw. He broke his back , an arm and an ankle but was sent home two days later looking like a ninja turtle with a shell on his back , a sling on his arm and a cast on his foot. Thank goodness he had a large and close family to take care of him at home – this I know because numerous family members moved in with him, bumping out into our side of the room. But they were very pleasant and thankfully didn't bring in any real Asian food which I'm sure your dad would have loved but my nose hates. Next came an older man – a recent stroke victim who had made a complete recovery but suffered a severe headache on the golf course and feared another stroke was threatening. Probably his swing was sub par on his ground strokes – he was released the next day after a complete medical work up. I'm sure he won't be so quick to subject himself to another hospital stay after sharing a room with your dad. Norm called for a bedpan as he felt something' coming down the pike' as he puts it. Coryn and I exited the room to give him some privacy and the other patient's wife soon joined us. We could smell Norm's success. Minutes later her husband left the room. There we stood in the hall way asking the unfortunate nurses aides who occasionally entered the room if Norm was through stinking it up. A doctor appeared to consult with the other couple and ushered them back into the room for some privacy. They evacuated in short order. I apologized profusely for your dad's odoriferous poop . They moved their consult down the hallway. I was sure that your dad had to be finished pooping by now so I took a deep breath, held it and entered the room. Unfortunately he had attempted to clean himself up using one of his hospital issued socks which he had somehow managed to pull off his foot. The nurses ended up having to change his bed for the third time that day – no easy task since they had to it with him in it.

The next patient to share with Norm was a large man who sweated copiously and required oxygen but he was only there a couple of days. By far the most interesting patient was Norm's last roomie. This guy freely admitted to being an alcoholic, a drug addict and the cause of yet another drunk driving accident. He even knew how much jail time he would probably get having done time before. His wife(?) shared the room with him as they were quite a drive from home, had no vehicle and no money. Fortunately the people they crashed into were not injured. He had crushed his ankle and needed surgery. Unfortunately his pain medications had no affect on his pain because he apparently took morphine every day so your dad had to listen to him screaming for pain medications most of the time he was there. Amazingly enough when the guy got some relieve from his withdrawal symptoms and pain your dad and he actually hit it off. Norm urged him to get clean, listened to the guy's sob stories and offered encouraging words. I found it amazing that your dad could relate to him considering he doesn't drink and refused anything stronger than Tylenol for his pain.

During the course of your dad's recovery he developed a urinary tract infection, lost the ability to void, and suffered numerous seizures. His erratic blood pressure was a big cause for concern and the day before he was discharged to the nursing home a doctor informed us that he was probably going to be bed ridden for the rest of his life. Fortunately he was proved wrong the next day when one very determined physical therapist got him out of bed and into a wheel chair with out him collapsing. It seemed that the adjustments in his medications were helping.

Fortunately due to the great location I picked when buying our home here – just a block from the hospital and about the same distance to a very nice nursing home tucked away behind the apartment complex across the street from us - it was so convenient to visit your dad numerous times a day. He adjusted to the routine at Delmar Gardens very well at first. It is a very nice facility with more of a hotel feel in the public spaces. He loved that his room, - apartment as he soon called it - had patio doors to an outside garden area and enjoyed eating in the dinning room with Everitt one of the other male patients. Your dad soon had his room looking like home with piles of paper everywhere and he was so concerned about losing his nurse call button, his bed control and the light switch cord that he “MacGyvered” the lot by rigging them up with spare socks and his hand sanitizer bottle. I tried to explain that they were already attached to his bed but he wasn't convinced that they were safe and always reachable.

Unfortunately he continued to have seizures and episodes of very volatile blood pressure that led them to discontinue a lot of his physical therapy as they felt he was too much of a fall risk. They concentrated their efforts on getting him in and out of bed to and from a wheelchair using a walker for support. They removed his catheter but had to replace it a couple of days later as he was still unable to urinate. It looks as though this is a permanent situation.

One afternoon I got a phone call from your dad – apparently he had waved a nurse in from the hallway to dial the number for him. He invited me to visit his apartment and enjoy the air conditioning with him. He said someone had told him it was very hot and humid outside and he was worried that I was sweltering at home. I patiently explained that we had air conditioning at our house too but sensing he was lonely I said I would love to visit him – how could a girl turn down an offer like that? He was so happy when I walked into his “apartment” , sitting by the air conditioner unit which he proudly turned on full blast as I sat down. I assured him that a polar bear would be in heaven as I froze wondering how your dad was handling it as he is usually so cold and bundled up on the hottest of days.

During his third week he called very upset because some one else was moving into his apartment and they hadn't even asked his permission. I explained that his apartment was for two people because it had two beds, two closets etc and that Medicare only pays for a semi private room. This was lost on your dad of course and for the rest of his stay he was very unhappy that I couldn't get his room mate moved out. He frequently refused to return to his room at night when I left preferring to sit in the corridor! I admit the ninety two year old had the television on at booming volume constantly, snored and had a noisy oxygen machine but your dad hogged the bathroom straining to poop every day, snored too and wheeled himself around the room like a kid on a new bike.

The nursing home had sent me a letter stating that they would be reviewing his status in the middle of July but I called and asked for an immediate review the first week in July which worked out well as his therapists said they couldn't improve his situation much so he was discharged on July 4^th. We have limited help at home now. A nurse comes once or twice a week to monitor his catheter and blood pressure, a bath aide comes to give him a shower twice a week and a physical therapist comes to keep his left hip mobile twice a week.

The first floor of our home now looks like a geriatric gym with the wheelchair, walker, portable potty, stacks of depends, grab bars, shower seat and a ramp from the kitchen to the garage built by one of my kind neighbors. Josh helped me remove the shower doors in our bedroom to replace them with a shower curtain to make it easier to get Norm in and out.

Ming Lee was able to fly in for a quick visit and picked up your dad's favorite Fish n' Chips from Barleys along with some sandwiches for him and Coryn who drove up from Clinton to visit with her brother and dad. While your dad was doing his therapy sessions Ming Lee had time to run over to the house and fix my water filter in my fridge. I was trying to change the cartridge but being unable to remove it with a simple twist I had used too much force and pulled the whole housing unit out. Thankfully Ming was able to reattach it and even ordered the right replacement cartridge for me.

Leslee and Craig sent chocolate covered strawberries to Norm which he was very excited about. That merited another phone call to come over and see. They were scrumptious. Unfortunately Norm's apartment didn't have a refrigerator so I had to take them home to mine where I honestly did share them with the kids.

Ming-Jon was very busy at this time as he was making his theater debut in Washington DC playing two roles in “To Kill A Mocking Bird” and moving into a new apartment – still need that address Ming! Kay was able to make the trip from Boston to see her Dad. He also had a visit from his long time school friend Jane . So glad that everything is going so well for him.

Sean has been out in LA vacationing at Marc's and Bryn will be doing the same later this week. It won't be too long I suspect Marc before I'll be out there with you searching for a place big enough for both of us – maybe one of those nice senior living complexes would work for us? The heat wave and drought has made gardening and any outdoor activities impossible. I beginning to think that I would greatly enhance my lifestyle by moving to LA where Marc assures me the weather is perfect year round.

Josh came down with a bug that his brothers had suffered with briefly – unfortunately it took Josh a couple of weeks to recover. I suspect that all this third world living may have had a deleterious effect on his immune system. I dread to think what might be lurking inside him.

Coryn and Jeremy have been very busy getting the Clinton house ready to sell. I certainly hope it sells quickly so that she doesn't have over an hours commute to work every day. Ollie and Buster are not going to enjoy being without their mom and a doggy door.

Norm has been diagnosed with Multiple System Atrophy, formerly known as Shy Drager's syndrome.

Unfortunately it is a terminal illness with little treatment available as it is relatively rare, striking mainly older males. Thankfully they don't think it is a genetic disease. So between the prostate cancer and his other health problems it's a challenge but fortunately your dad is ever optimistic and seemingly somewhat unaware of his situation. Things are going well with our home assistance.

I am trying to keep myself from developing caregiver's burn out - which has been on the back burner for years- and so far despite a few flare ups fueled by Norm's at times exasperating behavior I think I'm still cooking on all cylinders. I can guarantee that's it's a lot hotter outside than it ever gets in my kitchen this summer. Love from your trying to stay cool Mom, who douses herself with the hose every-night when watering so my neighbors can enjoy the free wet T shirt show.