THE LOWE FAMILY NEWSLETTER
VOLUME 95 OCTOBER 2014
Dear Readers,
On Tuesday September 2nd
I flew to Savannah and was met at the airport by Becky and her
adorable grandson, Lysander. It was a such a relief to finally be
able to hug Becky after so many difficult weeks and to see with my
own eyes how well she was coping with such great loss. David's
mother, April,was also flying into Savannah that afternoon: arriving
an hour or so after me. As we awaited her arrival, I quickly made
friends with Lysander. Within about half an hour he felt comfortable
enough to make a visit to the gift shop with me while Becky enjoyed a
few minutes to herself.
Once April arrived we headed
to the historical downtown of Savannah where I was staying at a hotel
suggested to me by my sons Josh and Sean. It had a most unusual name,
17hundred 90 Inn and concept. One can actually choose a room based on
it's décor! On checking in I was amazed to find I not only had a
bedroom but a separate sitting room and an enormous bathroom with a
whirlpool tub! Breakfast was also included so it was a great deal.
However I was not expecting to have to walk a block or so from the
check in desk to my room! They did not mention that the hotel was
actually housed in three separate buildings on the web site! Once
Becky and I had finished admiring all the period details we drove to
David's and I met tiny Merovy Juniper. After supper Becky returned me
to my hotel and planned to pick me up en route for Macon, Georgia in
the morning. David's work boss and some coworkers had suggested
meeting there for lunch. We were driving two cars back to Fort
Madison, each equipped with two car seats so that Lysander and Merovy
could travel in either vehicle. The trunks were packed with clothes,
toys and baby paraphernalia with all the spare seat and floor space
stuffed with the overflow. David would drive one vehicle and I the
other.
As soon as I sat in the
driver's seat of Becky's new Ford Focus I realized that it was
definitely more sophisticated than my 2005 model. Computerized
screens streaming information lit up the dashboard. I wondered if
perhaps I should reconsider my plan to drive my old Focus until it
needed repairs – perhaps I should upgrade now while I still have
hopes of learning to use a new set of controls? I must say that I do
prefer my gear stick to hers which seemed to be in the wrong slot
every time I touched it – Becky said she had found it to be an
issue too.
Once we arrived in Macon-
sometime after David and April because we had both children in the
back seat and had to stop for potty and feeding breaks- we met up
with David's boss and coworkers who were all very welcoming .One very
sweet Georgia peach of a grandmother asked how I came to be involved
in this tragedy so I explained my long friendship with Becky who is
like a sister to me, despite the fact that she is the Singing Nun to
my Lady Gaga.
It was almost three in the
afternoon when we got back into our cars. Lunch lasted so long that
we were driving through downtown Atlanta in rush hour traffic when a
torrential thunderstorm made driving virtually impossible, I could
barely see the tail lights of the car in front of me as we inched
along. Unfortunately during this time Merovy decided to have a fussy
spell and despite Becky's numerous attempts to quiet her with a
pacifier which involved unbuckling herself and leaning over the back
of her seat to reach the baby while I searched for an exit sign but
quickly realized that I was not going to be able to change lanes
anyway as we were completely hemmed in by several lanes of traffic on
either side of us. As Merovy's wails became more insistent Becky
managed to contort herself to maneuver into the back seat, wiggling
past me and wedging herself between the two car seats. We found the
whole episode more amusing than frightening: thankfully no-one could
see what was going on in the torrential rain so we didn't have to
worry about being ticketed for reckless movement inside the car! I
was just glad that Merovy stopped crying, that Becky didn't put her
back out or bump into me causing a pile up on the interstate.
As we all know Mother is not
a leisurely driver. I like to get from my starting point to my
destination the shortest and fastest way possible. I do not enjoy
rest stops, potty stops, or fuel stops for myself or the car. I
invariably do it all in one (and only one )stop. I realized when I
volunteered that I was going to have to pull of the interstate at
least every three hours so that Merovy could be fed and diapered.
Becky has a tendency to enjoy frequent excursions off the interstate
at all times, thus we ended up taking Merovy on her first of what I
am sure will be many trips to a fabric store. We pulled off to shop
at an enormous barn of a fabric store : Hancock's of Paducah in
Kentucky where Becky and I both found fabric for our grandchildren.
We fortuitously combined this stop with feeding and diapering Merovy
and using the restroom ourselves. Once back in the car I successfully
headed out of the parking lot towards the ramp that would hopefully
have us back on the interstate but Becky dared to ask me to go
through a McDonald's drive thru so she could get a milk shake! I of
course got nothing as I keep my liquid intake to a minimum on the
road. I expected that we'd be pulling off again a couple of exits
later for another potty break but she did manage to make it to the
next scheduled stop! I hope she wasn't too uncomfortable.
We did go through a lot of
tissues enroute, especially at a dinner stop where a woman came over
to take a peak at Merovy whom she recognized as a preemie. She
identified herself as a nurse working with high risk pregnancies and
I think she was intrigued to see two Grandma's but no mother with
such a tiny baby. Becky told her the sad story and soon she was in
need of a tissue. Becky often found herself in the strange position
of comforting those who learned of her awful loss! Becky and I did
wonder if some of the people who came over to peak at the baby during
our numerous stops wondered if we had abducted the baby or perhaps
thought we were lesbians with a sperm donor baby!
By far the hardest and most
emotional day was Friday , when we arrived at Becky's mother's house
and I witnessed their first heart wrenching hug since Gretchen's
death. Two lovely, kind women who have both suffered too many tough
times but as Becky's mother reassured her - they would get through
this together. I joined in their hugs and tears thinking how much
they were going to need their families and friends to hold them up
during the difficult times yet to come.
David and his mother arrived
later with the children. They had taken them both the night before in
hopes that freed of Merovy's night times feedings, Becky would be
able to sleep better: to help her cope with what they knew would be
a very emotional day We checked out of the hotel quite some time
before them and once Becky had managed to guide me out of the hotel
parking lot (she witnessed many times how challenging I find exiting
sprawling parking lots as I have no sense of direction) we headed
to Hannibal. We stopped at her her sister's Cindy 's house for lunch
and to pick up a toddler bed for Lysander before heading to her
mothers.
After three days on the road
we arrived at Becky's house and thanks to Sherry we had milk for “
a nice cup of tea”. Later that evening I dashed to HyVee for some
groceries. Once everything was under control at Becky's house I left
for Mike and Mary Brockman's where I was going to sleep for a couple
of nights before returning home by train Sunday evening.
Coryn and I returned the
following Saturday for Gretchen's memorial service. Coryn spent the
previous night at my house as we had planned to take the train up and
back the same day as she wanted to minimize her time away from Ava
Claire. Unfortunately when I checked my messages shortly after six in
the morning I saw that our train was delayed by nearly three hours
meaning that we would not arrive in time for the service so we had to
drive. Coryn wasn't thrilled about the prospect of making the round
trip driving but I volunteered to drive until it grew dark on the
way home, plus I pointed out that we would actually be home a couple
of hours ahead of the the scheduled train time.
We arrived in plenty of time
to have lunch, and entertain Lysander before heading over to the Barr
Memorial Chapel. Later we we met up with several friends at the
luncheon served at Roling Hall. I hope that Becky and David felt all
the love and support that surrounded them that day.
Josh was staying at my house
while I was helping Becky, whilst Sean was at Coryn and Jeremy's
where they dubbed him their Manny as he was helping care for Ava
Claire, cooking dinner on the nights Coryn worked and running the
dogs. I had hopes that by the time of my return all my painting
projects would be done for me but alas the boys had only been able to
get to the kitchen and one bathroom- that Josh told me needed a
second coat- as he headed out of the door bound for Texas. I did
manage to persuade Sean to help me paint my bedroom and bathroom one
weekend but he baled on me before all the new fixtures and closet
system were installed so I had to tackle that myself. Lining up five
toggle bolts, whilst holding a drill and balancing on a step stool
was not easy but I finally managed to do so and so far the poles and
shelves are still attached to the wall supports. During this time
Sean was at my house with a virus that included a sore throat and a
need to sleep nineteen hours a day. He did manage to find the energy
to cut a metal shelf in half for me with bolt cutters which saved me
from an hour of hack sawing.
Coryn, Ava Claire and I had
lunch together earlier this week and we did some shopping, I finally
found two matching mirrors for my new double vanity after having no
luck at numerous other stores. We also shopped for Ava Claire as she
will need more clothes for the fall. I have made her a new coat and
matching hat and am working on a three piece ensemble at the moment
with plans for others in my head but there is so much to do around
the house and garden still.
Yesterday I attended Elena's
third birthday party, with all the girls in tutu's and the lone male
in top hat and bow-tie. Ava Claire out ate the others easily – she
was the only one to eat her entire cupcake! Then today I took Kay and
Jeff to lunch to celebrate his passing his clinical sociology
licensing exam.
Becky and David, along with
the children, will be headed to Atlanta for a week soon and then on
to Savannah where I hope they will be able to move forward as a
family without their beloved Gretchen. I know that Lysander and
Merovy will be their light.
Time for me to make a nice
cup of tea and settle in to watch the Royals win another game in the
playoffs which will take us to the World Series. I don't enjoy
baseball at all but am swept up in the euphoria of Kansas City. Love
to you all, Mother.
