THE LOWE FAMILY NEWSLETTER : VOLUME 79 OCTOBER 2012

Dear Readers,

I spent the last few days of September in Torrence , the suburb of LA where Marc lives in his one bedroom condo. I suspect it was not the idyllic break from the routine of caregiving that my other seven children had envisioned for their mother when they suggested the trip. Firstly I had to drive through rush hour traffic and road construction delays to the airport to park in the long term parking lot and take the airport bus to my terminal – under the watchful eye of Coryn who insisted that I needed to learn how to negotiate the airport parking system so that my children would no longer need to drop me off and pick me up. This successfully achieved I boarded my plane and arrived at LAX about twenty minutes ahead of schedule. I found my way to the outside of the terminal and looked in vain forMarc's black BMW. I whipped out my cell phone to find out why he wasn't there to greet his beloved Mother. He was amazed that I was already on the ground. I was amazed that he had not used flight tracker to track me. He assured me that he was just minutes away. More than minutes later Marc drove up but had to double park so that I could get in his car. He was almost ticketed for double parking and worse actually exiting the car to help me throw my suitcase in the trunk when I failed to understand his grunts and hand signals from the driver's seat. Once we pulled out into the main flow of traffic it was very stop and go -because as I soon realized -we were in the bus lane. Marc was oblivious, stomping on the gas and brake pedals creating more turbulence for me than Southwest. I suggested that we might want to change lanes but he insisted that he needed to stay right in order to make a turn – a mile or two up the road....

It was about nine at night when I arrived so I expected to be driven straight to Marc's place but he suggested dinner at a nearby restaurant. This was my first introduction to Marc's parking phobia. We drove into a parking garage with a multitude of empty spots but Marc refused to consider any spot that required him to park next to or between cars. He said he liked lots of space around him when he parked. Eventually he found a space in its Siberian section and I wished I had worn tennies instead of heels as we walked some distance to the restaurant. I felt a slight chill in the air but Marc elected to take a table for two out on the patio. I ordered a glass of wine to warm me up which went very well with my delicious healthy Californian style fish dinner. Before leaving for home Marc informed me that we would be making a couple of stops as he needed to check his mailbox and stop at the organic health food store for some breakfast foods. He has bought into all this organic crap, paying twice as much to eat a lot of foods that are exactly the same as their covered in pesticide and filled with antibiotic counterparts. Just wash the chemicals off and be glad that your penicillin chicken must have had a clean bill of health. I remember years ago when Judy Johnson was driving all the way to the Quad Cities to pick up her antibiotic free turkey for Thanksgiving. I looked horrified and said I'd be worried sick about the kind of germs that might be lurking in it's juices. I think this gave her something to ponder.

Finally we arrived at Marc's home and parked in his assigned garage space:this required several maneuvers as he has to park between two cars. I offered to park it for him. Then we walked past his communal swimming pool in a lovely tropical garden setting and into his home. I was greeted by a rickety cheap plastic shoe rack with more lean than the tower of Pisa; as an accent piece he had a bright red plastic mop bucket. He balanced out the other side of his entrance way with four paper grocery bags holding his recyclable trash. I noticed his “grandma tablecloth” on his dinning room table, his chipped pink tile counters in the kitchen, the worn fifties style kitchen cabinets and the ghastly floor tile. A complete gut job.The living room was a very nice size and opened onto a very “I can do something with this patio”. Unfortunately the ambiance of this room was ruined by it's being open to another room which could be used for many purposes if Marc replaced the flimsy accordion style door for dry wall and a real door. He could have a second bedroom with an already built in closet and window that could double as a home office but no: Marc uses this valuable piece of real-estate as unnecessary storage. A metal storage shelf is piled high with boxes that he anticipates needing for shipping. Has anyone ever received a care package from Marc? I informed him that his boxes would provide enough roughage for an army of paper loving bugs. We moved onto the bathroom – the same blue fixtures as our student house in Cedar Falls. Marc has certainly not strayed far from his humble student housing. His bedroom was a tangled mess ; miles of electrical cords for his electronics and a bed that looked as if it had been tossed to the curb.. Marc offered me a choice of his bed or the blowup mattress. I took the mattress set up on the floor behind the sofa in his 'spare room'. At least I knew the sheets were clean.

Thursday morning while munching our organic muffins Marc informed me that he had to go to work as he had a couple of trials fast approaching. I offered to go along but that offer was quickly refused. Marc suggested I take a bus to the beach or walk to the mall just blocks away . After Marc left I decided to take a shower. With my glasses on I noticed that all the grout in the bathroom was black – closer inspection revealed it was also very thick and fuzzy in some areas where it actually spread down the tub. I called Marc to find out where he kept his bleach and a spare toothbrush. He assured me that he had Kaboomed the bathroom just before I came. I dread to think how bad it must have been before his ineffectual cleanup effort. I filled the tub with ankle high water so that I could stand in diluted bleach water at least as I applied straight bleach with a toothbrush to all the grout and door surrounds. An hour later I was gulping for air out of the bathroom window and decided to take a break before tackling the sink and toilet.

Still showerless and in my night gown I decided to check my E-mail so I booted up Marc's computers in his bedroom – surprised that he had shut them down. It took me awhile to figure out which computer went with which screen and the one keyboard. Eventually I was online but finding the connection very slow. On my way to the kitchen for more coffee I spotted an Ipad on a coffee table – time for my favorite game – Angry Birds. Back to the bathroom and an hour later I was in the bleached to the bones bathroom, gagging on fumes as I used some girly shampoo that Marc claimed Bryn had left after a visit.

Lunchtime found me munching salt and vinegar potato chips, and a handful of pistachio nuts. Marc's fridge and pantry were bare. I decided to eat on the patio and soon found myself thinking that the this was definitely the best place to be – sitting on his Martha Stewart's line of out door furniture, enjoying the ambiance. Before long I realized that Marc had his furniture poorly arranged so I was soon pulling his wooden loveseat into it's new spot, arranging the other two chairs and shared ottoman and the coffee tables into a better configuration for the space .For my efforts I was rewarded with a wasp sting. While rubbing ice on my sting ,I noticed that Marc's plants needed pruning. I grabbed his kitchen shears and viola I had created twice the space.

Mid afternoon I walked to the mall for a couple of hours and found lots of things I hoped Marc would see as must have purchases to upgrade his home. Home again, I spied a laptop computer on a bookshelf and took it outside on the patio to play' Words with Friends' with Ethan in England – with whom I think I spent more time that day than Marc! I was interrupted when Marc called me around five thirty to inform me that he would be arriving home for dinner with a roasted chicken in about an hour so I needed to make some rice and green beans to compliment his contribution. Mother muttered and pulled out the rice cooker.

After dinner Marc suggested a walk around the neighborhood with a stop by a bakery for dessert. The idea of something gooey, sinful and chocolatey was enough persuasion for me to run for my tennis shoes. The price of this treat was very dear : two huge red blisters on my heels as my new style socks were too short for my shoes .I wore sandals for the rest of my stay.

Marc was very upset when he realized that I had been using all his computers – he said they were all password protected – not if you use the guest option Marc. That's the price you pay for leaving me alone all day! Friday I explored the neighborhood and cleaned and rearranged some more. In the evening Marc took me on a scenic coastal drive and we walked along the cliffs overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I pointed out the millions of dollars mansions that I thought would be ideal for Marc and me when I move to California. A good mother does her best to motivate her children.

Marc took me to dinner at( yes you guessed it) a Mexican restaurant. Marc has always had an appetite for foods that challenge his digestive system. We had to wait for a table: fortunately they had seating for waiters (no pun intended) which gave me time to rest my legs from the hike from the parking lot he had picked several blocks away. The noisy crowd made conversation impossible – another reason I'm sure for Marc's choice. I drowned a Margarita with my lobster taco's.

Saturday Marc offered to drive me to the Pasadena Botanical Gardens but since my visit coincided with 'carmagenddon' 2 I declined his kind offer. Marc estimated the drive to be a couple of hours each way without factoring in the detour. Any one who has had the misfortune to drive with Marc knows that this could be a death sentence. Instead we spent the day cleaning his out door furniture - more bleach – and applying a water sealer. We went to the hardware store and got some new pots and a pump to put together a water feature.

Marc had a papyrus plant stuffed into a too small container so I suggested we repot it and set it inside a bigger pot and turn it into a water feature. Off we went to buy a what I thought was a fountain pump that was actually intended as an out of water aquarium pump. I confidently cut plastic tubing to the desired length and attached it to the pump which I plugged in and submerged into our water filled pot. A few gurgles and nothing. I pulled it out and checked to look for an on /off switch. Marc was reading the instructions ( something I never bother to do) and screamed for me to get it out of the water and unplug it. He then showed me the diagram illustrating it's use only outside an aquarium. He said it was amazing that I hadn't been electrocuted. I countered by pointing out that he had been saved from making seven calls to his siblings to explain my untimely electrocution on his patio. I said you would all disown him – he retorted that you would all give him a medal!

For lunch on Saturday Marc produced a bag of smelts( a childhood favorite of his) from his freezer for me to fix for lunch while he prepared the vegetables. We consumed the lot in one sitting. Later that afternoon Marc suggested tea in one of Torrence's down town cafes. I was envisioning potted ferns, white wrought iron furniture with floral chintz cushions with violin music in the background.

Once again Marc parked a couple of blocks away from our destination despite there being open parking spaces in front of the business. Outside the cafe were umbrella tables with a mish mash of chairs and the inside was filled with sagging sofa's and armchairs that looked older than me. All these seats were taken so we went outside with our drinks and pastries to a dirty table that our waitress was too busy to clean so I sent Marc in for napkins and waved away battalions of flies. Nasty.

Sunday morning Marc drove me to his workplace and called a cab to take me from there to LAX. He claimed he couldn't deal with all the traffic again. My taxi driver thought it hilarious that my thirty year old son was too chicken to drive into LAX on a Sunday morning saying it was the least hectic time of the week: indeed it was very calm.

Special thanks go to Ming Lee for flying in after I departed on Wednesday night to spend Thursday and Friday with his dad. He said the most challenging thing was giving Delilah her pills. Apparently she spit them out every time he managed to get them in her mouth. He finally drilled holes in cat treats, popped the pill in and watched her swallow the bait .Coryn and Jeremy plus the boys all pitched in over the weekend until I returned.

My next news letter will detail my recent trip to Ming and Lori's. Here is a teaser for you:I will be flush with details of another bathroom disaster.

Ming-Jon will be arriving this weekend, Coryn and Jeremy have moved into their beautiful Raintree Lake house and Josh has quit his job once again to return to volunteer work in the rain forests of South America. Apparently Leslee, Craig, Bryn and Sean are planning to meet up with him for a sight seeing trek to Machu Picchu. Hopefully I will one day be able to join my children in their explorations abroad. I'd love to zip line, walk with big cats and hike the rain forests. Hopefully some one would be able to carry my back pack for me and arrange it so our nights would be spent in hotels with indoor plumbing and air conditioning.

Don't forget to vote for Obama on Tuesday, love your I need my medicare and social security and not a voucher Mom.

mother's 'bedroom' at Marc's

aaTHE LOWE FAMILY NEWSLETTER                      VOLUME 78                        SEPTEMBER   2012

Dear Readers,

I know this issue is long overdue and I greatly appreciate that no one has pressured me into producing  it – not even my greatest and probably only fan, Ming Jon. I sadly suspect that some of my children may not have read one for several years. With the exception of Kay, Blake, and Claudia these letters may be the only link to Grandma for my future grandchildren. I'm losing my bloom and many of my childrens reproductive organs are going to be wilting on the vine very soon.

Late last month Coryn and Josh staged a family intervention over dinner on a Monday evening. I was informed that I needed a break from caregiving and was told to take off for the upcoming weekend  - with longer breaks to be built in. I protested that I couldn't possibly be expected to fly anywhere on such short notice as Labor Day weekend loomed. Coryn suggested a visit to my friends back in Fort Madison. I balked. No-one would be around, surely everyone would be visiting or entertaining their own families. I was ordered to call Becky. Much to my amazement she was planning a quiet weekend at home working on her quilts so she said it would be a perfect weekend to invade her peace and quiet. Next I called Mary and she was also going to be home and on down the list I went. The only friend not in town was Evelyn who was visiting John and family in Minnesota. I announced that I would drive over on Friday and return Monday.

I was told that this was not a long enough break so it was arranged that I would fly to LA to stay with Marc at the end of the month: this is considered a break? Sean and Bryn have suggested that I call Marc and  order him to hire Merry Maids before I arrive as they claim that I will not be able to use his bathroom in it's present state. Sean said he had to disinfect it when he was there a couple of months ago: worrying because Sean's condo looks like a  petri dish to me. I have to fight the urge to clean  every time I visit.

Next I learned that Leslee was planning on flying in from her birthday weekend in Chicago to help me with Norm for a week. She was amazing – she shopped for groceries, did all the cooking and even cleaned! It was great to have her help to haul your dad down to KUMed for lab work. For days I was able to stay out in the yard for as long as I needed to without having to carry the baby monitor or keep running into the house to make sure your dad was okay.

With only three days to prepare for my trip back to Fort Madison I had to scurry. It took me a whole day to leave instructions regarding the care of Norm with his numerous medications, the visiting nurse schedule and  his catheter care. It took me even longer to search for my weekender suitcase which I finally realized must have been “borrowed ” by one of my children. I ended up packing all my stuff in a laundry basket. Maybe that was what precipitated all the rain for my trip.

As you all know this has been one of the hottest and driest summers on record but on Friday, September 30^th, the day of  my trip, the heavens opened and rained down on me for the entire drive home. I was so looking forward to popping my Ford Focus moon roof, sporting my movie star sunglasses and  using  cruise control that I can't use in Kansas City traffic. Instead I found myself with my foot frozen to the gas pedal, my eyes straining to see (despite my bifocals) through torrential rain bursts and blinding spray from passing semi's -  the drive was a washout. It took me about four and half hours to reach Becky's house.

Becky and I had dinner at  one of down town Fort Madison's newest restaurants. Some one has done a fabulous job of restoring the old Lee County Bank building on the corner of Avenue G and 8^th Street. Unfortunately the food was not as good as the building restoration but I hear that their pizza is probably better than their pasta dishes so next time......

Becky tried to do some hand stitching on one of her beautiful quilts that evening as I kept her talking well past her bedtime, keeping ourselves well fueled with endless cups of tea. Her dog Ellie spent the entire weekend in my lap. It was a treat to just sit without having to jump up all the time to take care of something.

I awoke on Saturday morning to the delicious aroma of made from scratch blueberry muffins fresh from the oven. Becky had slept in until six that morning after heading to bed around midnight! I was still asleep of course.

That day we had lunch with Sherry and Myrna at the Ivy Bake Shoppe and it was lovely to see Sue behind the counter, although I know she would love to be out from under it right now. Frankly she is the Ivy so without her beautiful smile and warm welcome it won't be the same. Hopefully she will find the right person to take over soon so that she will have the freedom to enjoy the adventures in life yet to come.

After lunch we enjoyed a visit with Bonnie Howard at the book store where I found some fun books for Mia and Drew whom I was looking forward to playing with the next day. Sue Dunlay happened by and we enjoyed an impromptu visit  exchanging news about all our kids. From there  I found myself driving to Burlington with Becky who needed to shop . Once again I drove in driving rain confused by the changes since the bypass opened.

We arrived at Target and unexpectedly met up  with Mary and Elizabeth in the toddler aisle!Becky was picking up items for her grandson's upcoming visit as she felt she needed to baby proof her house. Mary offered her a spare car seat so that was a great perk of our accidental meeting. We had already planned to get together on Sunday.

That night Becky insisted on cooking a delicious salmon dinner for us. We spent another quiet evening with our tea cups with me switching to wine as the night grew long. Poor Becky couldn't join me as she was taking some medications for her back pain in addition to a recent shot of cortisone. Being a kind and considerate friend I reminded her of the need to be in great shape for our upcoming literary tour of English gardens where the ability to walk miles and climb like a mountain goat will be a necessity.

Late Sunday morning I visited Jan Bindewald, my friend from our weeks of radiation together in Iowa City. This gave Becky a chance to work on her quilts until I returned and we decided to try the lunch buffet at Pizza Hut. From there we went out to FMCH to walk off lunch on the new indoor walking track which circles around inside  the new physical rehab building. Brent said it was even nicer than the facility at KuMed. It was very impressive.

After our laps around the track we headed to Mary's house for a visit , enjoying the peace of her screened in porch amidst all the trees and later we sat in the kitchen watching Mary whip up a batch of squash and potatoes which she was taking to Elizabeth and Brent's house as her contribution to the dinner we were all invited to enjoy there.

I fell head over heels in love again with my beloved Mia and Drew. I was soon playing the role of Mia's big sister who needed to eat a landfill's worth of pretend food. Drew almost gave me a heart attack as he scaled the paint easel and almost slid off the top. That boy needs lead boots to keep him from climbing everything like a monkey.

Dinner was delicious and Elizabeth loves to decorate so the table was beautifully set. She remarked in the kitchen that she loved to grill too but I noticed that Brent was manning the barbecue loaded with shish kabobs ! They have stunning views of the town and river and have done a lot of projects to update the house. Her living room has gorgeous new furniture with a stunning rug. I greatly admired the new drapes too. I'll be anxious to see all the changes to come as well.

Monday morning I left Becky to her quilts so that she could hopefully have them ready  in time for an upcoming quilt show and I stopped to visit Bonnie and Gary on my way out of town. They greatly enjoyed looking at Coryn's wedding photo's as they had not been able to attend – and yes I did pull them out and invite every one to look at them through out my visit .I feel as if my status has been greatly elevated by succeeding in finally getting another child married off. Just five more to go.

Once I returned home and the whirlwind week with Leslee and her support was over your dad had appointments with his urologist and neurologist. Due to his constant urinary tract infections and painful bladder spasms it was decided to place his catheter directly into the bladder through the abdominal wall in hopes that this would be more comfortable for him. This out patient surgery took place on September  20^th and went well but he has been more confused and less able to walk even a few steps with his walker. I hope it helps as the urologist said there was no possibility of his ever being able to void by himself again. Kudos to Josh for volunteering to wake up at 4:30am to get us to KuMed by 5:30 am. He left work early to bring us home as well. That was a great help as I was unable to get to sleep any earlier than usual the night before. I functioned pretty well on four hours of sleep but looked worse than your dad.

Once home his appetite was amazing. No  post anesthesia nausea at all. I gave him jello as recommended on the discharge sheet but he demanded soup with noodles so I gave in and made him a bowl with crackers on the side. Coryn came by after work to check on him: he immediately invited her to dinner and suggested Chinese take out. He was soon pouring over a menu that Coryn had given him a few days ago. He had circled, underlined and check marked lots of dishes  he thought he would like to try– he can't remember whether he had hip or shoulder surgery most of the time but he sure knows where the Singapore Noodles are listed on that menu! We ordered enough dishes to ensure that I would not have to cook for days.

His neurologist had looked over the weekly blood pressure recordings that I fax him and decided to rapidly ramp up your dads medications. Your dad is swallowing fistfuls of pills numerous times a day , and at first I thought there was some improvement but these last few days he has lost ground again.

Next week I will be flying to LA  – I just hope that the state of Marc's condo and his idea of entertaining mother – he mentioned that I could shampoo his carpet for him – will not have me flying home on my broomstick cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West. I hope to be spell bound by my drive down Rodeo Drive in Marc's BMW convertible, by walks on sandy beaches and dinners at ritzy restaurants. I'm sure Marc already has reservations, wine and cheese in his well stocked kitchen and of course plenty of time for shopping with his plastic for my sure to be necessary redo of his condo.

Love from your always bewitching Mother.

Volume 77

THE LOWE FAMILY NEWSLETTER : VOLUME 77

JULY 2012

Dear Readers,

On Saturday, June 2^nd I was awoken by a loud thud. I immediately checked to see if your dad was in the bed and saw that he was not. I suspected that he was probably the source of the noise and rightly so . I pried open the bathroom door to find him sitting in a sea of talcum powder which he liberally sprinkles into all his cracks and crevices. He sheepishly claimed that he had slipped on the powdery floor. I helped him to his feet and put him back in bed while I made breakfast. During breakfast he went into a seizure and once again hit the floor. Fortunately I was able to catch him in time to break it. I suggested that it might be a good idea to take it easy on the couch for awhile as it seemed he was having a bad day. Once he was safely sleeping (as I wrongly assumed) I headed to the deck with the newspaper and my coffee. Above the noise of the traffic and chirping birds I heard another thump so I dashed into the kitchen and found Norm on the floor in front of the trash can. I asked if he was hurt – as usual he assured me that he was fine, just needed to catch his breath. I asked why he had left the couch and he said he wanted to make some soup. I patiently explained that he no longer cooked – he claimed he'd forgotten. I tried to get him up with no luck. So I made him some chicken soup and gave him some pop as he said he felt like he had gas bubbles in his stomach. I was spoon feeding him the chicken soup as he sat on the floor and I opined that calling an ambulance was probably the only way we were going to get him up as he winced in pain every time I tried to move him. I suspected that he had broken his hip. He didn't believe that to be the case and said he wouldn't get in an ambulance if I called for one. I remembered the time years ago when we had to drive him to FMCH in our car following an empty ambulance. I called Josh and thankfully he answered his phone and came immediately. I suggested that we figure out a way to haul Norm to the ER just yards up the road. Josh was able to get him up with little help from me, place him in the wheelchair and get him down the front steps into the car.

Thank goodness I didn't have to call an ambulance when he fell earlier in the bathroom – I'm sure the paramedics would have called the drug squad out once they saw all the white powder coating the bathroom.

Once at the Overland Park Regional Medical Center ER I was pleasantly surprised that they didn't ask for our insurance for quite a while, taking a medical history first. It took over six hours to establish that he had broken his hip, would need to be admitted and have surgery the following morning.

Unfortunately his nine in the morning surgery was postponed until one in the afternoon. Thankfully his hip replacement surgery went well and he was able to enjoy a room to himself there for the first night. Due to complications he spent nine days in the hospital sharing his room with four other patients and their families. The Overland Park Regional Medical Center needs to invest less money in it's landscaping and public areas and more on the comfort of it's patients. The rooms were too small for two patients, their entourages and the medical staff who occasionally appeared to check on their patients. Worse when the medical staff did show up they all had cell phones which were constantly ringing and buzzing and had to be answered immediately – even when placing IV needles, catheters and running medical tests. Who ever thought of this system ( in the interests presumably of job efficiency) never considered the impact on their patients and families. At best you had someone focused on your needs for a minute or so.

Norm's first room mate was a Korean man who had the misfortune to fall from a tree he was trimming with a chain saw. He broke his back , an arm and an ankle but was sent home two days later looking like a ninja turtle with a shell on his back , a sling on his arm and a cast on his foot. Thank goodness he had a large and close family to take care of him at home – this I know because numerous family members moved in with him, bumping out into our side of the room. But they were very pleasant and thankfully didn't bring in any real Asian food which I'm sure your dad would have loved but my nose hates. Next came an older man – a recent stroke victim who had made a complete recovery but suffered a severe headache on the golf course and feared another stroke was threatening. Probably his swing was sub par on his ground strokes – he was released the next day after a complete medical work up. I'm sure he won't be so quick to subject himself to another hospital stay after sharing a room with your dad. Norm called for a bedpan as he felt something' coming down the pike' as he puts it. Coryn and I exited the room to give him some privacy and the other patient's wife soon joined us. We could smell Norm's success. Minutes later her husband left the room. There we stood in the hall way asking the unfortunate nurses aides who occasionally entered the room if Norm was through stinking it up. A doctor appeared to consult with the other couple and ushered them back into the room for some privacy. They evacuated in short order. I apologized profusely for your dad's odoriferous poop . They moved their consult down the hallway. I was sure that your dad had to be finished pooping by now so I took a deep breath, held it and entered the room. Unfortunately he had attempted to clean himself up using one of his hospital issued socks which he had somehow managed to pull off his foot. The nurses ended up having to change his bed for the third time that day – no easy task since they had to it with him in it.

The next patient to share with Norm was a large man who sweated copiously and required oxygen but he was only there a couple of days. By far the most interesting patient was Norm's last roomie. This guy freely admitted to being an alcoholic, a drug addict and the cause of yet another drunk driving accident. He even knew how much jail time he would probably get having done time before. His wife(?) shared the room with him as they were quite a drive from home, had no vehicle and no money. Fortunately the people they crashed into were not injured. He had crushed his ankle and needed surgery. Unfortunately his pain medications had no affect on his pain because he apparently took morphine every day so your dad had to listen to him screaming for pain medications most of the time he was there. Amazingly enough when the guy got some relieve from his withdrawal symptoms and pain your dad and he actually hit it off. Norm urged him to get clean, listened to the guy's sob stories and offered encouraging words. I found it amazing that your dad could relate to him considering he doesn't drink and refused anything stronger than Tylenol for his pain.

During the course of your dad's recovery he developed a urinary tract infection, lost the ability to void, and suffered numerous seizures. His erratic blood pressure was a big cause for concern and the day before he was discharged to the nursing home a doctor informed us that he was probably going to be bed ridden for the rest of his life. Fortunately he was proved wrong the next day when one very determined physical therapist got him out of bed and into a wheel chair with out him collapsing. It seemed that the adjustments in his medications were helping.

Fortunately due to the great location I picked when buying our home here – just a block from the hospital and about the same distance to a very nice nursing home tucked away behind the apartment complex across the street from us - it was so convenient to visit your dad numerous times a day. He adjusted to the routine at Delmar Gardens very well at first. It is a very nice facility with more of a hotel feel in the public spaces. He loved that his room, - apartment as he soon called it - had patio doors to an outside garden area and enjoyed eating in the dinning room with Everitt one of the other male patients. Your dad soon had his room looking like home with piles of paper everywhere and he was so concerned about losing his nurse call button, his bed control and the light switch cord that he “MacGyvered” the lot by rigging them up with spare socks and his hand sanitizer bottle. I tried to explain that they were already attached to his bed but he wasn't convinced that they were safe and always reachable.

Unfortunately he continued to have seizures and episodes of very volatile blood pressure that led them to discontinue a lot of his physical therapy as they felt he was too much of a fall risk. They concentrated their efforts on getting him in and out of bed to and from a wheelchair using a walker for support. They removed his catheter but had to replace it a couple of days later as he was still unable to urinate. It looks as though this is a permanent situation.

One afternoon I got a phone call from your dad – apparently he had waved a nurse in from the hallway to dial the number for him. He invited me to visit his apartment and enjoy the air conditioning with him. He said someone had told him it was very hot and humid outside and he was worried that I was sweltering at home. I patiently explained that we had air conditioning at our house too but sensing he was lonely I said I would love to visit him – how could a girl turn down an offer like that? He was so happy when I walked into his “apartment” , sitting by the air conditioner unit which he proudly turned on full blast as I sat down. I assured him that a polar bear would be in heaven as I froze wondering how your dad was handling it as he is usually so cold and bundled up on the hottest of days.

During his third week he called very upset because some one else was moving into his apartment and they hadn't even asked his permission. I explained that his apartment was for two people because it had two beds, two closets etc and that Medicare only pays for a semi private room. This was lost on your dad of course and for the rest of his stay he was very unhappy that I couldn't get his room mate moved out. He frequently refused to return to his room at night when I left preferring to sit in the corridor! I admit the ninety two year old had the television on at booming volume constantly, snored and had a noisy oxygen machine but your dad hogged the bathroom straining to poop every day, snored too and wheeled himself around the room like a kid on a new bike.

The nursing home had sent me a letter stating that they would be reviewing his status in the middle of July but I called and asked for an immediate review the first week in July which worked out well as his therapists said they couldn't improve his situation much so he was discharged on July 4^th. We have limited help at home now. A nurse comes once or twice a week to monitor his catheter and blood pressure, a bath aide comes to give him a shower twice a week and a physical therapist comes to keep his left hip mobile twice a week.

The first floor of our home now looks like a geriatric gym with the wheelchair, walker, portable potty, stacks of depends, grab bars, shower seat and a ramp from the kitchen to the garage built by one of my kind neighbors. Josh helped me remove the shower doors in our bedroom to replace them with a shower curtain to make it easier to get Norm in and out.

Ming Lee was able to fly in for a quick visit and picked up your dad's favorite Fish n' Chips from Barleys along with some sandwiches for him and Coryn who drove up from Clinton to visit with her brother and dad. While your dad was doing his therapy sessions Ming Lee had time to run over to the house and fix my water filter in my fridge. I was trying to change the cartridge but being unable to remove it with a simple twist I had used too much force and pulled the whole housing unit out. Thankfully Ming was able to reattach it and even ordered the right replacement cartridge for me.

Leslee and Craig sent chocolate covered strawberries to Norm which he was very excited about. That merited another phone call to come over and see. They were scrumptious. Unfortunately Norm's apartment didn't have a refrigerator so I had to take them home to mine where I honestly did share them with the kids.

Ming-Jon was very busy at this time as he was making his theater debut in Washington DC playing two roles in “To Kill A Mocking Bird” and moving into a new apartment – still need that address Ming! Kay was able to make the trip from Boston to see her Dad. He also had a visit from his long time school friend Jane . So glad that everything is going so well for him.

Sean has been out in LA vacationing at Marc's and Bryn will be doing the same later this week. It won't be too long I suspect Marc before I'll be out there with you searching for a place big enough for both of us – maybe one of those nice senior living complexes would work for us? The heat wave and drought has made gardening and any outdoor activities impossible. I beginning to think that I would greatly enhance my lifestyle by moving to LA where Marc assures me the weather is perfect year round.

Josh came down with a bug that his brothers had suffered with briefly – unfortunately it took Josh a couple of weeks to recover. I suspect that all this third world living may have had a deleterious effect on his immune system. I dread to think what might be lurking inside him.

Coryn and Jeremy have been very busy getting the Clinton house ready to sell. I certainly hope it sells quickly so that she doesn't have over an hours commute to work every day. Ollie and Buster are not going to enjoy being without their mom and a doggy door.

Norm has been diagnosed with Multiple System Atrophy, formerly known as Shy Drager's syndrome.

Unfortunately it is a terminal illness with little treatment available as it is relatively rare, striking mainly older males. Thankfully they don't think it is a genetic disease. So between the prostate cancer and his other health problems it's a challenge but fortunately your dad is ever optimistic and seemingly somewhat unaware of his situation. Things are going well with our home assistance.

I am trying to keep myself from developing caregiver's burn out - which has been on the back burner for years- and so far despite a few flare ups fueled by Norm's at times exasperating behavior I think I'm still cooking on all cylinders. I can guarantee that's it's a lot hotter outside than it ever gets in my kitchen this summer. Love from your trying to stay cool Mom, who douses herself with the hose every-night when watering so my neighbors can enjoy the free wet T shirt show.

THE WEDDING EDITION

THE LOWE FAMILY NEWSLETTER: VOLUME 76 JUNE 2012

THE LOWE/LOGUE WEDDING EDITION

Dear Children and Readers,

Saturday, May 5^th was a sunny, hot and humid day but most importantly rain free. By six in the evening, the time of the outdoor ceremony, one could even detect a faint breeze. A beautiful gazebo, draped in grape vines, surrounded with greenery, ferns and flowers complete with a crystal chandelier hung from the decorative wrought iron roof dazzled almost as much as the bride's dress and veil. The guests were assembled on rows of white chairs with my bows fluttering in the breeze, serenaded by the classical trio of musicians as the wedding party proceeded down the aisle.

The previous Saturday was not such a splendorous day. Coryn was standing in her dress and veil on a platform in Ida's Bridal Saloon with tears streaming down her face. Her dress was finally altered – after several delays – one time I noticed lots of dark curly hairs on the inside of the many layers of fabric and was assured that they were caused by static electricity sucking the hairs up from the carpet - rather than my suspicion that other brides-to -be were being allowed to try on Coryn's dress. Her veil had just arrived from Spain in the nick of time but as soon as we saw it we realized it was not the veil we had ordered. The owner showed us the style number on the order form and matched it to the one on the veil. Coryn asked to see the sample veil and much to my surprise they didn't claim it was lost or something but brought it out to compare and the beadwork was obviously very different. The owner claimed that this was the newer version of the style and that none of her other customers had noticed. I suggested that it was deceptive to show a style that was no longer supposedly available. Coryn was sobbing so hard that the owner offered to take the appliques off the sample veil and add them to her veil , claiming she would work through the night if necessary. That offer did not appease Coryn who pointed out that beads were missing from the sample. I tried to console Coryn by pointing out how beautiful the unwanted veil might seem to us if we hadn't set our hearts on the other. My advice to brides would be to make sure that the dress and veil both arrive way ahead of the wedding date so that if there is a problem there will be time to rectify it.

Unfortunately the very next day I put my back out somehow when helping Coryn and Jeremy assemble their gift bags for their hotel guests. It couldn't have happened at a more inopportune time as I had so much to still do for the wedding. I was amazed that it had happened at all considering how long I have been supporting your dad's weight! Fortunately my children decided that they were going to help me “walk” my back into better shape. I found myself kneeling on my butt stretching my hands out ever further, being assured that every creak and snap was a positive indicator that I was getting the kinks out! I hope Ethan didn't film this episode to share with Angela and Trevor. I have to admit that this walking forward with your hands therapy actually did help. By Friday I was on a step ladder hanging purple fabric across fish line on the ceiling of the Loch Lloyd Country Club.

Leslee Ann was helping me with this endeavor and we managed to hang one side but could not afix our second side. Fortunately Craig showed up and succeeded where we had failed which was most surprising as Craig is not usually very handy. He rose right to the top of my ladder that day. Sean soon pitched in and we had clouds of purple satin billowing over the dance floor. While I was climbing up and down ladders with pins, fabric, fishing line and paper clips holding onto my back ,Coryn was flitting among the tables with place cards, candle holders and favor jars. I did think to myself that it might have made more sense to swap jobs but had more sense than to suggest it. Coryn was the Queen Bee - we were just Lowely worker bees!

However our task was infinitely easier than Jeremy's aunt Sheryl's crew who were out on the greens in record breaking blazing heat and humidity wrapping grapevines around the arbor that had been built by one of the guys that works for Jeremy's uncle's company. They had driven trucks and trailers up from Clinton, Missouri with the arbor, grapevine and half of Cheryl's home decorating accents. Coryn and Jeremy were the first couple ever to be married on the greens, under an arbor surrounded by ponds and waterfalls.

Jeremy's mom and step father showed up to help and were given the job of setting the twenty-four inch tall candles into the candle holders. Once again Mother was proved right. I had suggested to Coryn that we might want to check that the candles fit into the candlesticks when the boxes were delivered to my house but Coryn rolled her eyes and told me it would be just fine. Since I have had problems with long tapered candles tipping out of the bases I was less confident. Soon Jeremy's step father had to whip out his penknife and start whittling the candle bases down to fit in the too small holders. Jeremy's mom still couldn't stabilize them so we tried a hot glue gun but to no avail. Someone suggested some sticky stuff that we could use from a hobby store. So Coryn bought out a store's candle sticking goo inventory. Thank goodness our friend Becky Clay came to help the day of the wedding and spent all afternoon using goo to secure dozens of candles. Without her help dinner would not have been a candle lit event.

Coryn had arranged to have all the Country Clubs dinning chairs slipcovered in white with deep purple bows tied in the back. I was glad that the company she had rented them from showed up to put them all on and tie all the bows as I was still struggling with my project and running out of time as we had to change for the rehearsal dinner after a walk through of the wedding ceremony.

The day of the wedding we all arrived in the early afternoon, the girls set up in the ladies lounge area with a makeup artist and two hairdressers to help beautify the bridal party. Not that this was really necessary as Amber Scott, Becky Dickinson, Megan Freeman, Coryn, Leslee and Kay Lowe are all beautiful girls. The groomsmen were holed up in a spacious two story area complete with bar and private deck with strict orders that if Coryn ventured out of the rooms Jeremy was to be kept from catching even a glimpse of her.

The florist arrived with all the purple and green floral arrangements and I knew that Coryn wasn't going to be tickled pink by the roses. We had had two meetings with her florists and thought they understood that she only wanted deep purple, ivory and green as her colors. Unfortunately the roses- which the florist insisted were lilac - were definitely more of a mauve pink and they certainly made the arrangements pop. I actually liked the contrast in color myself but I was not the bride. The florist was waving her ipod in front of me showing me the picture Coryn had given her as a guide, insisting that the roses were definitely more lilac than purple. I decided to break the news gently to Coryn fearing a bridal meltdown. I hiked my way up to the the girls room where Coryn was having her hair and makeup done. I described the floral arrangements, gushing over their beauty, gently warning her that the roses might be more pink than purple hoping to nip any tears in the bud. I hoped she was wearing water proof mascara. Coryn was disappointed but sagely commented that there wasn't much that could be done at this late hour. Jeremy's aunt Sheryl, who was generously footing the floral bill, was much more upset and negotiated a discount as about twenty floral arrangements were not as expected. Fortunately the bridal and bridesmaids bouquets were all perfect as were the boutonnieres and corsages.

We had a moment of panic just prior to the ceremony when we realized that the guest who was going to babysit baby Elena had not arrived. Her parents, Becky and Fred Dickinson, were both in the wedding so once again Becky Clay came through and literally was left holding the baby – a far more enjoyable task than candle sticking.

Jeremy is a very emotional guy and was concerned that he would have difficulty in maintaining his composure during the ceremony. He was moved to tears during the rehearsal dinner when thanking his family and ours for our love and support, and Coryn had to finish his speech for him. Probably something he needs to get use to anyway as I have noticed that today's husbands seem to lose their voices when they get married. As you may recall he had insisted that he didn't want to see Coryn that day until she walked down the aisle and I knew the sight of her would take his breath away and cause a waterfall of emotion – something which seems to have bypassed the Lowe male's genes. I have to confess that I was trying to get Jeremy to focus his tearful eyes on our side of the aisle rather than his as all his family and guests were dabbing their eyes with tissues while our family was grinning with delight to think that Coryn was now all his!

Our family all contributed to the day. Ming-Jon and Sean were ushers and Sean also acted as emcee,

Leslee was the Maid (Matron) of Honor and charged with the task of following behind Coryn - Pippa Middelton style- holding Coryn's long trailing beaded veil. I commented that I hoped her backside wasn't as distracting knowing that Coryn would want all eyes on her as she walked down the aisle. Kay was one of the beautiful bridesmaids, Bryn a groomsman and Josh had the honor of walking his sister down the aisle. He seemed to regard it as more of an assault on his bank balance bemoaning the high cost of a tuxedo rental. Bryn on the other hand would have been happier to pay more for a tuxedo that met his style requirements. He made us all laugh when he held the tuxedo pants up complaining that they were so baggy and out of style. He loves skin tight pants. Ming and Lori both gave readings during the ceremony and stepped in to help the ushers out when they realized that the wedding guests were waiting to be seated for an undesirable amount of time. Claudia handed out programs and Blake looked very dapper – they both did did an outstanding job of showing their appreciation of the rehearsal dinner and wedding buffet. Ethan and Craig were the family photographers and Marc was given the task of taking care of Norm: more on this later.

Once the actual ceremony was underway my eyes caught movement on Coryn's dress and I saw a large spider crawling up the voluminous skirt. The bridesmaids were directly in front of me and I managed to catch Becky Dickinson's eye and direct it to the bug. She nudged Leslee ,who as Maid of Honor was standing next to Coryn. Leslee has suffered with arachnophobia since she was a baby but she maintained her composure and discreetly reached down and shook the spider off. I then realized that the bottom edge of Coryn's dress had attracted a colony of ants. I decided they were harmless and wouldn't show up in the pictures – and to think my only concern about the grass was walking on it in high heels because the night before at the wedding rehearsal I'd walked out of my shoes when the heels sunk into the well watered greens. I never considered that six girls in long ivory dresses would be a magnet for every grass dwelling bug.

The wedding officiants did a stellar job of conveying the storyline of Coryn and Jeremy's courtship and obviously had great affection for the couple that they have come to know so well during the months that they have been preparing them for marriage. I was concerned that Jeremy might have trouble repeating his vows due to his high emotions but thank goodness he managed to get out the “I do” so now I can proudly say that three of my eight children are married, just five to go.

Fortunately the professional photographers that Coryn and Jeremy had hired really clicked away after the ceremony as they took family pictures on our side and the many sides of Jeremy's family and then of the newly weds so that we were able to get the guests assembled for the bridal parties grand entrance in a reasonable amount of time. At this time the classical muscians were replaced with a well known Kansas City singer/piano player , Dan Doran and a couple of his band players. It was so nice to be able to talk above the music for once at a wedding, wherever you were sitting in the room.

The buffet featuring beef medallions and salmon was excellent, the dark chocolate swans filled with raspberry mousse that were served later were a special touch and when the cake was finally served I missed out as I was visiting with guests but I was told it was delicious .

After dinner Coryn snuck away and changed into her second dress – from her first prom at Aquinas. In contrast to the ball gown style of her wedding dress( which she claimed was too voluminous to dance in) this one was very form fitting and every bit as glitzy. I was so thankful that I had saved it all these years. It was amazing that it still fit her so well – I just let it out a tiny bit in a couple of places. I think her reappearance in a another dress added to the “wow” factor of the whole event.

Since your father could not dance the traditional Father/Daughter dance Coryn decided to follow in her sister's footsteps and have her brother's each take a turn with her around the dance floor – it demonstrated that none of the Lowe boys can dance. Norm did gallantly manage to stand and give her a big hug at the end of the dance. Later when Leslee was inviting Craig to dance with her your dad mistakenly thought she was asking him and apparently got out of his wheelchair in an attempt to stagger to the dance floor. Fortunately Marc and Ming-Jon were able to hustle him back into it when they saw little Leslee sinking under his collapsing weight.

The stars on the dance floor were definitely the youngest of our guests. Mia Woodbury was the standout attraction with an adoring audience captivated by her very 'Beyonce' like moves. The adult guests fanned out around her and took their cues from the point of her finger indicating that it was there turn to get a move on. Drew tried to keep up with his big sister - a little break dancing with a hip hop influence- but Mia was on the floor dancing up a storm all night. When she starts attending school dances I have words of advice for Elizabeth and Brent – body guards to protect the boys from Mia. Apparently she was handing out invitations to all the Lowe boys to come and play at her house. We have all missed her so much since she moved to Fort Madison. Josh commented that Mia's parents could probably rent her out as a party starter.

Finally it was time for Norm to go home. He held up so well, enjoying the wedding as much as anyone. He took a nap in the room specially provided to accommodate his needs during the afternoon between family photos and the guests arrival. Marc and Ethan kept a close eye on him. Becky Clay was spending the night with us along with Ming-Jon and Marc. Ethan was spending the night with Sean and Josh. Since it I don't like to drive in the dark anymore I decided to have Marc drive my car with Ming-Jon and your dad as passenger's whilst I elected to go with Becky to show her the route home. I suggested to Marc that he might want to follow us home but he said he had got directions from Sean and had GPS on his phone. Becky and I pulled out of the pitch black parking lot and noticed that Marc was not behind us – I saw that he was headed in another direction and started snickering about how he was probably going to be lost in the parking lot all night. Becky and I made it all the way down the long driveway to the gatehouse and still no headlights shone behind us. We were very surprised that we made it a couple of miles down the highway with no lights behind us. We finally turned onto 135^th street and noticed police cars pulled off to the side waiting for speeders . I joked to Becky that it would be fun to pull up beside one of the police cruisers and report my car stolen. The thought of our hot shot LA lawyer being pulled over with a disorientated oriental in the front passenger seat and another lawyer in the back seat had us laughing so hard that we missed our turn and ended up taking the long way home. It turned out that Becky's night vision wasn't much better than mine as we struggled to see lane lines, street signs and even had trouble telling the difference between red stoplights and car tail lights.

We pulled into the driveway behind Marc and unfortunately Norm was in full seizure mode. He blamed it all on Marc's driving. For days afterwards he described the drive home from Loch Lloyd as a near death experience. Now I must say that your dad becomes very upset if he thinks he's lost. A few times I have driven routes to new doctor's offices to make sure I know exactly how to get there , where to park and where to go in the building. Apparently Marc almost ran into construction cones and a retaining wall once he figured out how to get out of the parking lot. Next time Marc will hopefully ride home on my bumper – something he is very good at as you will know if you have ever had the misfortune to be in a car with him driving.

I had hoped to get this newsletter to you all sooner but as you know Norm fell and broke his hip a couple of weeks ago and had to have a hip replacement. He spent nine days in the hospital and is currently in a nursing home with hopes of bringing him home. Coryn very thoughtfully was able to get a family photo from the wedding photographer which was proudly displayed in his hospital room and is now on his bureau at Delmar Gardens where all the staff can see him surrounded by his large and loving family as a husband, father, father-in-law, grandpa and uncle who despite his failing health never fails to light up like a light bulb when one of his children walks through the door or calls on the phone. Coryn and Jeremy gave him so much happiness when they included him in plans for their special day and their marriage truly lifted his spirit. We all wish Mr. and Mrs. Jeremy Logue the happiest of marriages and of course we welcome Jeremy into our family and hope that we will be welcoming some more new ( and much smaller) members very soon. Love your Mother-of- the -Bride mom who would love to be a Mother-of-the Groom- again before my photos need to be air brushed.       

t

THE LOWE FAMILY NEWSLETTER: VOLUME 75 APRIL 2012

Hello Everyone,

The boys finally got off the fence about when they might tear down my old fence and erect a new one . Josh and Sean showed up on Saturday to take some measurements and then headed to Home Depot with Jeremy. Jeremy had hooked a large trailer to his truck and driven up from Clinton to haul the fence from the store to my door. I wondered if Craig would do as much for his mother-in-law. The boys actually did consider delaying the whole process until Craig could be here to help as they thought it would be fun to watch him run and use his body as a battering ram to demolish the fence. Trust me Craig - I have no idea why that would be fun to watch.

Easter Sunday my boys showed up early enough to get in a couple of hours of work before lunch. A very expensive lunch as I shopped at Costco the day before and bought some huge top quality steaks to keep the boys energy levels up. Bryn grilled the steaks while I roasted potatoes, steamed asparagus and made an elaborate spinach salad. Coryn arrived with a pot of homemade beans. They could have used a little more oven time but when the boys are hungry it's better to feed them and get them working again. Too much sitting time and they might get immersed in a ball game on TV.

My neighbor Steve was so anxious to help facilitate my new fence that he had even called our local trash service to see if they would haul off the old one for me on our annual Spring Clean Up which is next weekend. He had had to pay someone to take his. Apparently he offered the boys his tools if needed when he checked on their progress. I had told the boys to get the same color and style of fencing as his so that we would be coordinated. When my new fence arrived I noticed that it was a rainbow of colors – not a solid looking Cedar. Streaks of green, blue and pink abounded. I saw a rainbow fence. Josh informed me that it was because the wood was treated – just a temporary look. He assured me it would weather to match my neighbor's two week old fence which is solidly one color of light wood. After a couple of sections were up I realized that my fence had a stair step design rather than the straight line of my neighbor's fence. I had watched my neighbor use a level to screw every picket but my boys didn't seem to be using one at all. When I dared to mention the up and down look of my fence I was informed that the ground wasn't level so ergo the fence wasn't either. I thought to myself that I might have trenched out the high spots and added more dirt to the low spots but had enough sense not to say a word to my boys. I love climbing vines. Amazingly enough Steve's wife came over last night gushing about the 'design' of my fence. She said she wished they had done something so artistic! Another neighbor said the wood was definitely not Cedar and was sure it would rot within a couple of years – he didn't see the artistry in the boys design either and offered me some Yews from his garden to plant in front of it!

While Josh, Bryn and Sean were working on the fence I was sitting on the deck making huge bows for Coryn's aisle decorations. She was upstairs trying to sleep off a migraine: how she was able to sleep with the endless noise of the boys sawing fencing sections I can't imagine. They actually wore my old circular saw out and had to run to the store for a new one halfway through the project. I was anxious to see my boys progress on the fence but had to keep my distance as they threatened to quit if I got involved but suffered every time I saw one of my plants being squished underfoot – one of the reasons I had tried to get them to do it weeks ago while my garden was dormant. Since we really had no winter this year almost everything is blooming.

Once the new fence was finished, complete with a gate to Quivera, we all helped haul the old fence sections to the driveway for pick up. I am so grateful to my boys for donating their day to help out their old mom and dad: my neighbors are grateful that my broken down fence has been replaced too by one so visually interesting.

Coryn' Spring Break almost broke me this year – in more than one way. She decided that she needed to have ten of her twenty wedding tables decorated with towering three foot tall floral arrangements. Finding containers to meet her needs was going to be costly so I decided we could build some wooden stands ourselves. Fortunately I had some wood and spindles left from other projects so I plugged in my circular saw and followed my pencil line squinting through my cataracts. Unfortunately my cut was off the mark. Coryn inspected my work and declared that we would head to Home Depot and have a professional cut the wood for us.

The next day I was drilling holes and screwing the stands together when Coryn pulled into the driveway. She once again inspected my work and declared that a couple of the screws needed to be sunk a little deeper. I didn't say screw you as I drilled away stripping a couple of heads in the process. While I assembled, Coryn painted, setting up her work station in the sun so she could work on her tan simultaneously. I can assure you that she worked harder on her tan. So now in addition to having my basement used as a wedding storage unit my garage is cluttered with ten plant stands. A chandelier , intended to hang from the arbor they are having built for their wedding ceremony has been hanging around in my dinning room for weeks. Coryn finally opened the shipping box the other day and realized that it had to be completely assembled. Not my project!

Ming-Lee came to visit that week too for just a day and was able to stay with Norm while Coryn and I met with the event planners at the Country Club to go over the wedding time-line. She informed them that she and Jeremy were hoping to have a live dove release during their ceremony. Like me they thought the idea enchanting but worried about the birds of prey in the area swooping in to consume dinner over the heads of the wedding guests. And who knows what effect this carnage would have on the doves bowels? I could visualize all the guests grabbing their chairs and holding them as umbrella's over their heads to shield them from the fowl weather above. But this may be a needless concern as Coryn and Jeremy have been unable to make contact with the people who offer this service.

Friday of that week Bryn was assigned to stay with Norm so that Coryn and I could enjoy a relaxing Mother/Daughter afternoon at the spa. A few weeks earlier she had read that the Mother-of-the-Bride was second only to the Bride in importance on the wedding day (I would have thought it would be the Groom but what does mother know.....) and should be just as radiant. She informed me that I was not glowing so she had thoughtfully booked a full body scrub for me to hopefully remove at least three layers of wrinkles and old skin to rejuvenate my radiance. I thought all my hot flashes guaranteed a healthy glow to my complexion. She informed me that she would be joining me at the spa to help reduce her bridezilla stress by treating herself to a facial and massage - at my expense of course. I glowed like a light bulb when I handed over my credit card to pay for our treatments.

At some point during the wedding planning I mentioned that one of the most memorable weddings I had attended was Jan (Hoyer) Randolphs. Her guests were served white or dark chocolate swans filled with mousse for dessert. Coryn became besotted with the idea and was assured that the Loch Lloyd Country Club chef could make it happen. A few weeks later the Country Club called to say that they had a source but that the cost of shipping over two hundred chocolate swans that had to be packaged individually to avoid breakage – their necks are so thin – was astronomical. I thought the idea had taken a swan dive at this point but Coryn was determined to find someone to make them. Of course she knows that I have used molds to shape foods for parties in the past and thought I might be able to undertake the project. I patiently explained that I didn’t have the skill , time (with your dad's needs) or fridge storage space for a couple of hundred swans. Fortunately she found a chocolate shop on the Plaza that was willing to take on the task. Jeremy was so supportive of her – willing to pay an exorbitant price if needed to ensure her happiness. I did suggest that she could have the band strike up

“ My Dear Old Swannee” as the staff served desert. She was no more amused when I offered to dress up in a swan costume and pirouette around her guests to “Swan Lake”. I was concerned that the swans were not fitting in with our wedding theme but this has been resolved since Jeremy's aunt has a large stone swan that we can use as a centerpiece on the head table. I just hope that a couple of white swans will be provided to grace the lake which the club overlooks.

Leslee-Ann and Amber Scott were in town last weekend for Coryn's bachelorette party – which became more of a KU Jayhawks fan party as the team were playing in the final four of the national championship games that night.. Originally they planned to have dinner on the Plaza and move on from there but once KU advanced a lot of the girls wanted to watch the basketball game so it moved to a venue in Overland Park. Happily our team won that game but lost to Kentucky in the finals. Coryn who rarely drinks stayed sober through out her bachelorette party and was home in bed by twelve thirty. It was not the raucous event her sister was probably hoping for – her's was a long weekend in Vegas. Coryn would have been happy to go horseback riding and follow it up with a tea party. But Coryn's friends, especially Becky and Amber were determined that Coryn should have a more traditional party and so with Leslee they coerced her into it.

Sunday was April Fools day and once again my kids got me. Leslee asked to borrow my car so that she could drive over to Coryn's to meet her and Amber for lunch. I wrote directions for her as the ramps to the interstate by us are closed due to a two year construction project.. About half an hour later Leslee calls and asks if she shouldn't be at Coryn's by now. Absolutely I reply – it's only fifteen minutes away at most. I ask if she's on I35 – she says she just went past Gardner, a town I know is well south of Coryn's so I tell her to pull off at the next exit and start driving north. She asks me to call her sis to let her know she's lost and running late. I tell her to just concentrate on her driving - worrying about the safety of my Ford Focus in her hands. I call Coryn and say I told Leslee to get on I35 north and take her exit. Coryn reminds me that you can't exit onto her route coming from the south. I say she'd better call her sister and give her new directions – she then says “Would you like to tell her yourself – she's sitting right here?”I can't believe that sweet Amber Scott didn't do anything to stop those nasty girls from upsetting their mother as usual. In fact she admitted to me that she had thoroughly enjoyed the prank.

That afternoon the girls came over and kept Norm company on the porch working on another of Coryn's wedding projects. Late in the afternoon Coryn drove Amber and Leslee to the airport to catch their flights home. By then I had dispensed Advil to Leslee who was writhing on the floor complaining of menstrual cramps – nothing like childbirth for an instant cure – and Amber was describing the agonies of flying with her ears popping and stomach dropping. I was happy to wave them and their ailments off!

Sheba bought me another present. Last time you may remember it was a dead vole. Obviously she didn't think I was appreciative enough because she came through the door with an early Easter gift, a live baby bunny which she plopped at my feet. I immediately scooped Sheba up in one arm and grabbed Delilah with the other as she came over to inspect. Doubtless Delilah thought it was a special delivery for her midnight snack – she might be less mean to Sheba if I'd let her sink her teeth into it. But I shut the cats in the basement and chased the baby bunny around in circles praying I could catch it before Norm got up! It took me fifteen minutes to nab it and I found myself scurrying down the street well past midnight to hide the bunny under a neighbors evergreen.I'm getting too old for all this excitement. Can you believe that I and my great friend Becky will both be sixty in a few days? Only five more years to our big tour of England!

Norm continues to struggle with his seizures and is now plagued with frequent headaches. He has great difficulty in walking just a few steps and according to one of his cardiologists whom we saw last week he is now using his pacemaker ninety- six percent of the time to keep his heart rate up. However he remains in good spirits and is eating very well. The wedding has certainly given him a goal in life.

Coryn has sold her house and is planning to help Jeremy get his home in Clinton on the market while they continue to rent out his Condo. They hope to find a house in Lee's Summit which will be a longer commute for Coryn but a shorter one for Jeremy. Sean and Josh may have to store a lot of her furniture at their Condo if they don't find another house soon. Sean says he's fine with having her bedroom set sitting in his living room. I thought he and Josh were installing hardwood flooring soon. But like most projects that involve my boys there is no sense of urgency.

Josh returned safely from his birthday trip to Haiti. He documented his time there on his blog site “Joshuar in the Wild”. He was welcomed with a birthday cake by the other camp workers and volunteers and let everyone know that strangers had done a better job of celebrating his birthday than his own mother with her rock hard cupcakes. Maybe he'll decide to spend every birthday abroad after this experience. Yeah.

Looking forward to seeing all my family and many friends at Coryn and Jeremy's wedding. Ethan will be arriving later this month and staying until the end of May. A special reminder to all male family members – don't assume your suit pants are hanging under your jacket unless you want to have to hustle your ass to a men's clothiers as fast as Ming Lee did half an hour before pictures at Leslee's wedding. One of the greatest saves from a wedding disaster ever.

May 5^th must be a sunny and warm day or Coryn will probably be a rain cloud for the rest of her life. She and Jeremy have set their hearts on an outdoor wedding ceremony and will be devastated if it has to be moved indoors. If this happens I will probably miss the entire event as my bowels will erupt and I shall have to spend the entire time in the 'Ladies ' guzzling wine, saying “Oh shit” while I literally do. I'm thinking about bulk buying two hundred purple umbrellas to save the day and the Country Clubs supply of toilet paper.

Love Mom

THE LOWE FAMILY NEWSLETTER VOLUME 74 FEBRUARY 2012

Dear Children, Family and Friends,

One Saturday morning,early in February, just before noon, Josh and Sean unexpectedly came through the kitchen door, loaded with laundry and demanding lunch. Thank goodness your dad and I had already eaten so I was happy to inform them that the kitchen was closed but of course they pulled at my heartstrings by asking what sort of mother would watch her children starve while she had a fridge and pantry full of food. As usual I opened the freezer and found something to throw in a pot, heat and serve. Lunch over, they promptly challenged me to a game of Quiddler – I lost the first game so challenged them to a second and somehow was so overly confident of wining this round that I bet my change jar and saw it change hands. Sean won my life savings.

Later in the afternoon the boys left to go shopping, giving me the good news that they would be back for supper. While they were gone Jeremy and Coryn arrived with a big box of wedding invitations to store in my basement as they have to keep their house clutter free since it's on the market. They had their first looker that day and apparently the showing went well so fingers crossed everyone. Actually the wedding invitations have presented us with our first hitch in the wedding plans – when they arrived there was a spelling mistake in the venue for their reception. Neither Coryn nor I had caught it when proof reading. Fortunately the company they had ordered them from was very kind and redid them for a minimal cost so that catastrophe has been fixed. My basement storage room looks like an event planner's, filled with candle holders, candles, vases, favors, rolls of ribbon and boxes of decorations.

Bryn appeared when Coryn and Jeremy left and so the three boys ate pizza with us and then they announced that they were going to be watching ' Fight Night' on our downstairs TV and inviting their friend Skylar to join them. I settled in on the upstairs sofa with your dad and took over his remote and commented that it was strange to think that our adult sons were still entertaining friends at our house as if they were still in high school! But of course if you find yourselves dateless every Saturday night where better could you go? At least Skylar is engaged and planning a wedding – hopefully the boys will see what a positive effect this has on him and will decide to start looking for possible wives for themselves.

Amazingly our hospitality was returned as Josh and Sean invited us to join them for lunch and a movie at their home the next day along with Bryn, Coryn and Jeremy. Norm and I arrived shortly before noon and found Sean and Josh on fire in the kitchen. Sean had two pans of “Seanchiladas ” in the oven, Josh was watching over the rice cooker and a crock-pot full of green chilli pepper chicken which was eventually served on tortillas with corn and the rice. While we waited for the entree's to cook the boys offered us chips with salsa and homemade queso. Bryn had selected “Midnight in Paris” for us to watch – set in 1920's Gay Paree – a great choice for your dad as he was there at about the same time!

The following week we basked in sixty degree weather so I was able to walk up and down the hills of our neighborhood daily in an effort to be a more svelte Mother of the Bride by May. Unfortunately by the time I have walked a couple of miles I am so ravenous that I have to devour something to sustain me as soon as I reach home.

Jeremy, his cousin Shelby, and Bryn spent a long Super Bowl weekend in Indianapolis with Ming and family. They had a great time and really appreciated being able to stay with family as hotel prices were so inflated. They all explored the activities Indy had to offer – I thought for sure that my boys would be enjoying the death defying sport of zip lining across the city but apparently there was a seven hour waiting line! So that was a needless worry for me but Josh announced that he was going to be spending his birthday in Haiti volunteering on a building project for a week so I soon had something else to worry about. I would have worried about Sean that week too as he was flying to Texas and Illinois for work but I didn't know about it until his safe return.

Norm had another Lupron shot for his prostate cancer so he has been extremely tired, confused and very unstable walking. He is determined to keep the treatments up at this point and continues to be excited about the upcoming wedding. He wants to try his Tuxedo on to make sure it fits (hopefully the adjustable waistband will extend far enough) and see if he can cram his feet into his dress shoes. That might be a challenge as he seldom wears shoes anymore, preferring to shuffle around in his slippers.

Friday afternoon I was surprised to see Coryn and even more surprised when she announced that Becky and Elena were on their way over for afternoon tea. Apparently Coryn had felt in need of a sick day and Becky only had to work a half day so the girls decided to meet at my so conveniently situated home.

Sunday Coryn and her dogs arrived before noon – I wasn't expecting anyone until late afternoon for the kick off of my Super Bowl party . She said she had to leave the house as a realtor was showing it. What was I planning for lunch? A few minutes later Josh and Sean and their laundry arrived . They also were hoping for lunch. I explained how rude it was for guests to arrive hours ahead of time expecting me to cater two gourmet meals in one day. We ordered Chinese take out for lunch and Coryn and Sean picked it up. I saved my culinary skills for my relish tray, frozen buffalo chicken wings,mozzarella sticks, breaded mushrooms and pigs in blankets served up with the Super Bowl coin toss. It was a great game, especially since the team I was rooting for won. Coryn texted Jeremy to find out where he and Shelby were sitting so that we could try to spot them on TV.

Norm celebrated his 84^th birthday and our 37^th wedding anniversary on February 17^th. I baked a caramel cake with pecan and coconut frosting – great for his heart and teeth. Bryn picked up Oklahoma Joe's Barbecue for the birthday bash and once again it delivered a knock out. After stuffing himself until he was ready to burst your dad had another of his explosive seizures – fortunately the boys were there to pick up the pieces and carried him to the sofa where he slept it off.

Back to the wedding plans. Coryn saw a dress that she though I would like so I went with her to Mia's Bridal and tried it on and thought it perfect. I tried a couple of others just to be sure but decided to waste no more time shopping at every bridal store in the city. It's green and fits perfectly – well maybe a little breathing in is needed but I am sure my exercise program will work eventually.

Coryn's beautiful confection of a dress has arrived at Ida's bridal and as luck would have it Norm's sisters sent her a three strand pearl bracelet and a pearl necklace (which belonged to Pau Pau) that looks perfect with her dress. Unfortunately the bridesmaids are still naked. Coryn found a dress that she thought would work so Leslee ordered it. Once the dress arrived Leslee called to say that the dress was pretty but the fabric was very clingy and worse, see through - despite being double layered. I suggested to Coryn that the girls could wear sequin bikinis underneath - thus adding some sparkle and excitement to the event but of course she wasn't amused. More dresses have been ordered and I certainly hope she finds something suitable in stock and in the right sizes. Meanwhile the boys have been teasing Coryn with Tuxedo T shirts that they are threatening to wear in lieu of the more expensive rentals! She promptly informed them that the country club does not allow t-shirts -as if that would stop her brothers!

President's Day we worked on the wedding invitations since Coryn and Becky had the day off work. Baby Elena came too so we set up an assembly line in the dinning room, fueling ourselves with endless cups of tea and frequent breaks to entertain Elena. Becky attempted to address a couple of envelopes but Coryn's quest for perfection made her so nervous that she begged to be moved to knot tying. Every invitation is bound with a ribbon that has to be knotted to perfection. Coryn inspected every one and if it didn't pass it had to redone until it did! I think in four hours time we completed about twenty! Just another hundred to go.

Josh stayed with Norm that evening as Coryn and I met up with Jeremy and his Mother for dinner on the Plaza. She is very excited about the wedding too and is planning the rehearsal dinner. Unfortunately by the time we left the restaurant we were caught in a torrential downpour and I feared hydro planeing all the way home as the roads were running like rivers.

On Sunday the 26^th of February we celebrated Josh's birthday a couple of days early as he was flying to Haiti on the actual day. It turned out to be a crappy day for me. Josh had emailed me a couple of recipes to try out. I dutifully whipped up a batch of cupcakes from scratch using his chosen recipe and a batch of butter cream frosting. The cake was dryer than my humor, but the frosting was more delicious than a bowl of vanilla ice cream. I dumped the lot in the trash after the kids took one bite and asked which ingredient I'd left out.I berated myself for not cheating and using a box mix. Later in the day your dad had a very smelly dump during a seizure that could have used a hazmat clean up crew instead of just me holding my nose all the way to the trash can. My day ended with Sheba coming through the kitchen door with a present for me – a dead garden vole. That crap was dumped in the trash too. I hope the bag doesn't burst on the garbage man.

My crocus bulbs are in bloom, my daffodils are on the cusp of blooming too and most of my perennials have emerged. It's almost as if we didn't have winter here – not that I mind. This would be perfect if it happened every year. One of our neighbors fled to their condo in Florida for a few months and emailed that they would have stayed here if they had known how warm it was going to stay. The soaring temperatures have bought on my spring fever and I am anxious to get my hands in the dirt, sowing seeds and planting flowers again. I am also hoping that the boys will spring into action by erecting a new backyard fence for me but they are still very much on the fence about when they might get around to it.

Love from your never on the fence, opinionated Mom.